Thank you for your advice Doug. I dont know why I feel that way, I dont think thats how he sees it. Some recent behaviors led me to believe she was continuing the EA. First he stayed bc I had a bad cold and he helped through the night with the baby for 2 nights. Im TERRIFIED he is lying to me and is going to go somewhere to see her. I had to call the OW to find out the truth and what was going on. He texted me again the next morning asking when he could see the baby and I offered for him to see her that night, and he again apologized for the things he said to me. Leaving you in limbo is unfair and its not a game. I dont call him a liar. after 9-11 when people went to wok and did not come home you would THINK he would get it. he can live whatever life he wants, and for some reason it does make me feel better. F*ck 40: Lifting the Midlife Fog After Milestone Birthday February 7, 2018by Tobin Walsh The 40thbirthday party my wife threw for me was legendary the next days massive hangover being evidence enough. When I wanted to get in a relationship, I sat him down and told him that the contact had to minimize because I am moving on. Is The Cheating Spouse Living With Regret? He commits to reconciliation and helping you heal AND being the guy you married. !1 Its so good to hear from you!! I regret getting married to him. b. Even though Ive known about all of this for 7 months now and weve been going through problems for 10 months now. She was 23 at the start of their relationship, the same year I celebrated my 50th birthday, so I get you on the 20 something part too. No craziness. He got really angry and said I dont do anything around the house besides feed the baby and that he could do what I do. These are the things I did with my H. The Red Flags were he refused counseling. You are waiting for him to make a decision. If he cannot make that decision then you need may have to make it for him. He gets his head out of his butt and realizes what he has done. You just told me not to obsess over her anymore and here I am completely obsessing. It is like he tricks himself to believe he wasnt out that long. I know I was feeling that way, even though when were together its nice, the minute he would leave I just felt crazy. It is absolutely limbo and it is HELL. Im willing to do and try just about anything on my end that I can in order to hopefully help him want this marriage again, I just dont want to be disrespected and walked all over and its hard to know if thats happening when I dont know what I can trust., He told me in May (I think it was May) that he admires me when he sees me doing things for myself again and that it reminded him of the woman he fell in love with. I wish I could stick to it. But part of me just puts so many random puzzle pieces together and thinks he is lying. (Which was about a month ago now) And We had a very lengthy, crying convo, which ended with a long hug and him apologizing and saying he knows its all his fault and he wishes he could take it back and maybe down the road we could be okay and we decided no Divorce or custody arrangements, that he would give me some time and we would make a schedule for him and the baby. My CH has an exceptionally hard head. I feel like sometimes he wants to but then sometimes thinks its too hard, and then sometimes he just doesnt want to at all bc he is so sick of me. I dont know..Ive thought about going to a psychologist but I cant afford it. He is just st the point of no return and the fact he threw in the towel so easily is not a good sign. And I didnt, and I will always regret that. Not only that the cheater may not come back, but if the cheater does come back, trying to resolve all of that is difficult. I hope all is well!!! Lunches everyday, hours of flirting, even when on vacation with us when I was pregnant with my first son. Im sure im going to be extremely sad and depressed about this in a days time, I know its going to be so hard. Then everything started to make sense. I see what he does and I KNOW I dont want a husband like this, yet I still love him and would want to work on it..WHAT?!